October 3, 2013

A Hospital For Mothers

I haven't posted for so long. I think that I want to start again, maybe to keep track of my own progress. I have been in a depressed state for a time now and am doing some new things and thinking new thoughts to pull me out of it. I wrote this poem in the last two weeks, because of heartbreaking things going on in my family. My goal is to learn to be happy and have gratitude in spite of what's happening, because this is my life and always has been and is not going to go away.

My anguished cries ascend
  then fall breaking into a 
    million pieces.
The shattered words
  are shards of pain
    each one causing
       more sorrow, more suffering.
This journey's road so different
  from the little girl's play
   when I was always the mommy
     and kept my babies safe.
 I was a believer in fairy tales
   and knew we'd live
        happily ever after. 
My story today has wandered 
   far from that happy path,
   and the thought of giving up 
       always on the edge of 
         my consciousness.

I met another like me
   our communication 
    elicited from broken hearts
           and fractured souls.
She said that there
    should be a hospital
       for mothers.
Where we could go 
   when the pain 
      grew too big 
        over lost children.

This resonated . . .

What if they could open
  me up and take out
    the ache that never
      goes away?
And splint the shattered
  dreams and longings
    once so whole -
       so intact.
My wounds run deep.
  Maybe a numbing IV
   could give relief
     for a moment.
Could they give me assurances
  that I would recover
     and everything
         would would be allright?

Where is this place. . .